Thursday, May 9, 2013
Lincoln- Maybe I should save him for last lol. He started Lamictal in February for focal seizures. The more he was on it the worse he got. He started to no longer show affection, screaming alll day, staying up all night, and PICA. PICA was the worst part I think. He was eating mulch, clumps of dirt and grass. He even got to the point of dragging me to the garbage to get things out for him. He constantly wanted to eat anything and everything. We switched from it to topamax for his focal seizures. I was hesitant and for a good reason. I went ahead and started it and he has become very aggressive . Luckily just towards caregivers. He has also become very mad and screaming mad. I've said before that Lincoln screams happy a lot, but this is screaming mad! It isn't my Lincoln at all! We are now weening him off of it and awaiting an appointment with a child psychiatrist. I'm going insane. We always go 1 step forward and 20 back. We go in for his IEP on the 14th with preschool. I have 0 clue how we will survive the summer together. His new favorite thing is syrup. He's sleeping better thankfully! He is loving on me again and showing affection. So that has been the last 3 months of our life. Medication failures and mommy struggles.
Lynleigh & Lacey- The girls turned 2! They are doing great! Both are developing fine. Lynleigh is in speech 4 times a month. Her speech is actually pretty good. She talks during speech , but wont at home. We know it's there and she can talk, she just doesn't get a chance with Lacey. She also talks very soft spokenly when she does talk. She still doesn't say Momma or Daddy. Lacey talks up a storm and sentences! It's amazing to see and reassures me I'm not a total failure :) .
Me- Oh where to begin. I've been exhausted. I've been emotional. I've been busy with my business . I celebrated 6 years of marriage to Miles in March. We had Miles' 29th birthday last month! My mother was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Prognosis looks good and it's a blessing it was caught early! She will be enduring chemo and radiation over the next 6 months and I want to be there for her every step of the way. She is an amazing mom and I only wish I was able to be as calm and collected as her all the time.
That sums up our crazy life over the last few months . I'm not in the best place right now. I'm back to being mad at the world. The emotions of being Lincoln's mom is hard. I'm fortunate there are so many moms out there like me, but I wish there weren't. It's hard to not know what the future will hold for Lincoln. It's harder when explaining to others. He is a very smart boy and just trapped. His brain has to adapt to us and humanity as we are suppose to act/behave. He is the happiest thing ever and hyper as can be.